Check-in

It is now slightly more than halfway through the year. (Cue flailing and shock.) How am I doing with my not-resolutions from the beginning of the year?

I will spend less time on the computer and more time reading books.

Um, sort of. I still probably spend way too much time on the computer, but I have read 21 books so far this year! I've finished a total of 2 (TWO) books since school got out. You know, a month ago? Oy. I did a lot better with this when I got 20 minutes of reading time with my students times three classes a day. I didn't read the whole 20 minutes every class every day, but even with just 20 minutes a day, period, I made a lot of progress. If I wasn't suddenly hooked on the Supernatural DVDs a friend is loaning me, I would probably be getting more reading done.

But hey! 21 books in just over 6 months! Not bad, I think. If I push it, I might make 50 by the end of the year, and that would be awesome! 
 
I will purge useless/broken/unwanted/unused stuff from the house.

I had a yard sale a few weeks ago. We got rid of the queen bed in the guest room (and replaced it with a futon which takes up way less space), a little table, some speakers, the bean bag chair we never used, and our old bookcase. We now have room for two NEW bookcases (which are jam packed full! and now there are NO books in stacks on the floor in my office), and we shifted some things around the dining area so it's more open and, I think, looks nicer. Anything not sold at the yard sale was carted off to Goodwill. Yay! We also cleaned up the guest room a little, got rid of an embarrassing amount of trash, I even managed to part with some wardrobe items I never wore. 

I will write at night in my Book of Days planner/journal at least a few lines about that day.

I've been pretty good about this. What usually happens is I'll space it for a while, then do two or three or four days at a time, but that still works. (Sometimes I look at my Facebook activity to remind myself what I did!) It will be really cool to look back on this in a few years, or even a few months. However, it's not exactly something I'll want to pass on to my children and grandchildren. There's some really really personal stuff in there. It's a just-for-me treasure. 

I will be a better housekeeper (which will hopefully be easier to do with less Stuff).

After the yard sale, the house was a wreck for a while as we moved things around, waited until we had money to buy bookcases, put them together, organized books, etc. etc. Ugh, I hated it! Since we got all of that squared away, however, it's still looking pretty nice. The piles of books on the floor of my office have a place now, freeing up floor space so there's only a very small pile o' stuff in there now. For the most part, dishes are being washed and then put away in a reasonable amount of time, mail gets sorted as soon as it comes in, the laundry is under control(ish), and you can usually see the surface of both the coffee table and the dining table! 

I will be a better listener and not an interrupter or a wait-until-you're-done-talking-so-I-can-say-what-I-wanted-to-say-er.

I think I am getting better at this. Although with some friends, sometimes, the only way to get a word in edgewise is to interrupt! ;)

I will pray more.

This still isn't happening as much or as often as I'd like it to or it should be, but what I have been doing is when I tell someone "I'll pray for you," whether it's on a Facebook post or in a letter or a text, I pray right then. There at my desk, in the car, wherever, just a quick prayer for them and their situation. That way I don't forget about it by putting it off until "the right time." It's always the right time for prayer.

I will write more--more letters, more blog posts, more journal entries, more stories, more poems.

Not so much with the blog posts, eh? I did, however, participate in Camp NaNo this June. It's just like NaNoWriMo in November, only they do two sessions in the summer: one in June and one in August. I wrote 50,138(ish) words in 30 days. The quick way to describe the story is "1920's carnival time-travel romance." I really like the story and I have the next at least 20-30 pages fairly well plotted out. Past that, I have more vague ideas, but I do have ideas! I thought I might have enough for a Book Two, but now I'm thinking it'll probably just be Part Two of the same book. I haven't written anything since June 30th (that's 11 days now), and I really need and want to go back to it. I'm actually not totally sick to death of the story, and I have IDEAS! This is a big deal. I've done NaNoWriMo 7 years in a row and have never finished any of those stories. I did continue to write on a couple of them past November, but then those, too, petered out to nothing. It would be a really great step for me to FINISH a story!

I've also tinkered with a couple of short stories, and of course I've done my usual geeky RPG writing with a couple of friends on IM. (I bet between the three of us, we easily do 50,000 words a month.) And I wrote three letters just today!

I will find a lesson plan format that works for me and I will plan in advance as well as I am able.

This was mandated by my school. After a lot of fussing and asking questions and "what if"ing and discussing, we finally got a template that, I think, works pretty well. It's not overwhelming, but it communicates to the teacher (me) and any administrators that happen to walk in generally what we are/should be doing that day. It's good. I just print out a few at a time and fill them in with pencil, usually for anywhere between 2-5 days at a time.

I will remember that I am not teaching Language Arts, I am teaching people.

(This is turning into a really long post, sorry.) This isn't an exact response to the not-resolution, but stick with me. During the Midsummer Night's Dream/Summer Solstice party I helped to host and throw last month, we did a neat little ritual I read about online. Everyone wrote down one or two or a few things they wanted to let go of, then we threw the scraps of paper into a fire as a symbolic gesture of watching them float away as smoke. I wrote down "anger" as one of mine. Certainly my students, individually and as a group, would really get on my nerves sometimes, especially the last month or so of school. Too often, I came to realize, I would react in anger instead of rationally and calmly. I realized I even do it at home to my husband sometimes, even to my pets! I've been trying to be conscious of that, and when I feel that anger rising up in me, I remember (or attempt to, as much as I can) that I'm speaking to a person (or an animal) and that 99% of the time, what they're doing is not to personally upset or attack me. They're just being themselves. I need to chill out, breathe, and handle the situation appropriately. Little by little little, I'm getting a bit better at this. 

I will not dwell on the past any more than I can absolutely help.

This is hard. I miscarried my second child in February, and this is the thing that comes up to bother me the most. The most often and the most strongly. It seems like sometimes when I think I'm doing really well, almost to the point of being smug about it--"I can look at this friend's baby pictures on Facebook and not cry!" "I can have a conversation about childbirth with a friend!" "I can talk about our 'someday' nursery or parenting skills with my husband!"--that's when I get slammed the hardest. I literally feel sick and my body feels heavy. I don't know how healthy this is, but the only thing I can do, right now at least, is to push it away into the back corner of my mind and make myself focus on something else. Usually this is after I've given into the feelings for a while and cried, sometimes alone, sometimes with a person I love. I might write about it, or just compose an imaginary blog post or letter in my head because I deal with things in words. And then I have to put it away, because otherwise I can't function and have a happy life. If I dwell on it, I just can't. So I guess I'll just continue to struggle with this... I don't know how long. It won't disappear when I finally hold my own baby in my arms, but maybe, hopefully, it will lessen. I just want to be pregnant and give birth to a healthy baby so, so badly. If you pray, please pray for my husband and I.

I will Skype loved ones that live far away.

I have not done this. I should.

I will love this year.

Yeah, for the most part, I have.

Goodbye 2011, Hello 2012

In 2011:

I turned a quarter of a century old 26 OHMYGOSH why can't I remember how old I am???
I finished my first year of teaching -- 8th grade Language Arts.
I spent my first summer completely free from any job or obligations... and it was wonderful.
I built a blanket-and-pillow fort in my living room and spent the whole day in it--twice.
I dyed my hair purple for a while. Then black, to cover up the purple and be an adult again.
I hosted a Harry Potter party, a Star Wars party, and co-hosted another HP party and a beautiful candlelit Edgar Allan Poe party.
I sewed things.
I knit things.
I crocheted things.
I wrote 50,000 words of a novel for the 7th year in a row during November's NaNoWriMo challenge.
I had a couple of outdoor tea parties with my wonderful knitting group, Weekly Fiber.
I rode my bicycle, Mabel (although not as much as I would have liked to).
I wandered the Farmer's Market several times, although I only ever bought peaches and a delicious ham and cheese crepe.
I lived on almost nothing but Ramen and beans for a week at a time, several times.
I got a cat, and we slowly got used to one another.
I spent way too much time on Facebook and Pinterest (which probably contributed to the minimal blogging).
I spent a fantastic weekend in Denver with my husband, who whisked me away for a birthday getaway of rich food, a funny play, lots of walking, and even a little history.
I had some really spectacular fails as a teacher, but some really great wins, too.
I became obsessed with 1920's fashion, hair, makeup, and music.
I helped plant grass in our tiny back yard.
I spent my fourth Christmas without my little brother, Logan. Miss him every day.
I became very discouraged about ever getting pregnant after a heartbreaking miscarriage in 2010, then angry with God, then resigned, then at peace that everything will happen in his perfect timing.
I said goodbye to some wonderful 8th graders, and was holding the door wide open for others to leave.
I welcomed a new crop of 8th graders, who seemed so small and strange at the beginning of the year, and how are now just "my kids" (although they are still certainly strange).
I grew a little more distant from some friends and a little closer with others.
I read a lot of really good books and a few crummy ones.
I hosted a nice little New Year's Eve party last night with board games, snacks, and good friends.

Goodbye, 2011! You were a good year, a hard year, a memorable year.

In 2012:

I will spend less time on the computer and more time reading books.
I will purge useless/broken/unwanted/unused stuff from the house.
I will write at night in my Book of Days planner/journal at least a few lines about that day.
I will be a better housekeeper (which will hopefully be easier to do with less Stuff).
I will be a better listener and not an interrupter or a wait-until-you're-done-talking-so-I-can-say-what-I-wanted-to-say-er.
I will pray more.
I will write more--more letters, more blog posts, more journal entries, more stories, more poems.
I will find a lesson plan format that works for me and I will plan in advance as well as I am able.
I will remember that I am not teaching Language Arts, I am teaching people.
I will not dwell on the past any more than I can absolutely help.
I will Skype loved ones that live far away.
I will love this year.

Welcome, 2012!

8 Things Friday

1. I have a major tan line on my neck around the collar of my work t-shirts and, I kid you not, from my braided pigtail that was blocking the sun for all of about 15 minutes, maybe, yesterday. For once, I forgot to sunscreen my neck. Need to wear a halter top and my hair up this weekend, or something, to even things out!

2. On the upside, 15 minutes in the sun without sunscreen = BROWN Heather!

3. My big family reunion (mom's side) is in ONE WEEK! I'm so excited to see aunts and uncles and cousins and such that I only see once or twice a year, or less. It's Friday through Sunday next week, and I'll go down Thursday after work to stay with my parents. Then in the middle of July, my two girl cousins that are a little younger than me are coming to stay at my house for a few days!

4. Incentive to get the guest room cleaned up, for reals. We STILL haven't got the bed on the frame yet, which is a priority this weekend. Then I can stick a bunch of classroom stuff underneath it and free up the floor again, clean up/out the chest of drawers, etc.

5. On that note, does anyone in town want two nice framed Van Gogh posters? They don't really "go" with the blue and pink floral quilt and stuff, now. Cafe Terrace is really big, maybe 24"x36", and the other one is long the horizontal way, about 12"x24", and matted. It's got Cafe Terrace, Starry Night, and Starry Night over the Rhone Both have black frames and are under glass, and you can have them both for $10 OBO. I think I spent about $80 on all of it back in the day when I first got them. /end of ad/

6. I'm thinking about taking Sune to the dog park tomorrow. I want her to be more socialized with people and dogs, and I think she would love to play with some dogs her size. They have a little fenced-in area at the edge of the "big dog" dog park for little ones. I took her to the Farmer's Market Thurday night and she did all right. She growled at a Boston terrier when I was holding her, but otherwise seemed just fine and very interested in all the smells and things happening. She even nicely said hi to a couple of little dogs, though one was a cranky old mini poodle that snarled at her. And she's getting better about strangers petting her. Anyway, wish us luck at the park!

7. I thought it might be fun for my summer camp kiddos to play around with some embroidery, so I got out a couple of hoops and some muslin scraps and did some practice stitches on the three small ones to teach them with; the big one is for doing it "for real." We'll see how that goes today. Hopefully they won't fight over who has which one and is stitching what on blah blah blah.... Kids fight about the most ridiculous stuff. They made tents by draping sheets over the desks and chairs yesterday, and one girl was crying because she couldn't get under a table with two other girls (and there was no room!)

(This is the same girl that bounded up to me on the playground when I got there yesterday and said, "Miss Heather, I was a sacrifice!" with the biggest smile. They were playing some kind of "get chased by the monster and scream a lot" game.)

Anyway, I got out a hoop and some muslin for myself, too, and have been stitching little flowers and stuff. Haven't done it for a while, it's nice. :)

8. I also started a feather-and-fan kind of pattern of a crochet blanket. Yes, okay, laugh at me for starting a blanket when I still haven't finished the very simple knitted shawl I started over a year ago. In my defence, crochet goes faster, I already have several skeins of yarn for it (pink, blue, and cream for the guest room), and it can be one of those projects I pick up and do a row or two on while watching a movie. I'll post updates when and if there are any.

Hello again

Today is my Friday, sort of. I'm only in school two days this week (both schools) because of Thanksgiving break. It won't be too much of a break, but oh well. Wednesday I intend on catching up and (hopefully) even getting ahead in my NaNoWriMo novel. I'm at just over 36,000 words right now, and by the end of today I should be at 40,000, so I'm somewhat behind. (I did write a little over 6,000 words on Sunday, though, which was awesome!) Most of the story is trash and I don't think I'll do anything with it, but for the last week, it's at least been fun to write. I'm making new characters and my MC is seeing new places, and I always love writing description.

I've also been knitting a lot (not at the middle school, but in my college classes), and I currently have 6.3 pairs of wristwarmers knit up (but not sewn--bleh, don't like that part much). I'd like to sell them at the vintage store/art gallery downtown, but if they sit there for a long time and don't sell, maybe I'll open up my old Etsy store and see how they do there. They're all diferrent sizes, colors, and patterns, and by "patterns" I mean stitch patterns. I didn't actually use patterns for any of them, just invented them off the top of my head depending on what kind/color and how much yarn I had. Most of it is leftover little balls after I finished knitting socks, though some of it is from various other projects. All of them are at least partially wool, for warmth and because the shop doesn't seem like a place that caters to people who would like cheap acrylic.

Totally rambling now. After today, I have to be on (the college) campus four more days, and two of them are for finals. AUGHHHHHHHHHH! In a way, I'm really glad, but I'm also kind of freaking terrified. There's still a lot to do between now and then, but I'll get it done! As for the middle school, I have 15 more days, though of course not much will get done the last couple days before Christmas break. I have my last observation on the 9th, and I'm using the lesson plan I wrote for another class, so whew! One less thing to worry about.

Matt and I will be back in our hometown for Thanksgiving with my family, then we both work all weekend. Black Friday I'm working just over 9 hours, while Matt works 12. ICK. (But yay for him, he gets commission!) Then Saturday for both of us, and likely Sunday, too. Freakin retail. I'm glad we have jobs, but we will both be soooo glad when we don't have to go through this ridiculosity every holiday seaason.

So let's see, writing, school, knitting.... That about sums up my life these past few weeks! No promises, but I would like to post here more over my breaks. We'll see how that goes. (Need to work on a new header, too.)

8 Decades Friday

Yes, you read it right. Not 8 THINGS Friday, 8 DECADES Friday.



Last Sunday, we celebrated my Grammie Joan's 80th birthday.



She was a school teacher (elementary) for thirty-some years, I think, and seems to have taught at least a full half the population of the tiny town where she's lived for fifty-something years. Many people that came were taught by her, as were their children.



Dean of Women at Quincy College in Illinois. Mother. Teacher. Rancher's wife. Grandmother. Catholic. Friend. She was and is many things, and is well loved in the community and by all her family.

Happy 80th birthday, Grammie!